Three Strikes
by Yui-Mag
Summary: Kurt decides to use the three strikes you're out rule to protect his own heart from getting hurt again. Problem is, how do you tell your own heart when the person you're crushing on has struck out and its time to move on?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N – So this came about because as much as I love Klaine… I flailed at the fact that the show didn't really address all that occurs between Kurt and Blaine in season 2 and the emotional impact Blaine's obliviousness could have had. :P I don't own any of the Glee characters. I also don't own the lovely, beautiful song by Susie Suh called "All I Want". It's my first Glee fic so any feedback on how to make the characters more realistic is very welcome! Hope you enjoy._

Three Strikes…

As the rule goes, its three strikes and you're out. In baseball at first but people had adapted it for various other things. Kurt had vaguely wondered why the number three? Did it keep the poor bastard there long enough to drive the humiliation home as he missed for the third and final time? Or was it short enough just so that he'd have the sting and remember it, learn from it, but be able to come back – stronger – after having cooled off for whatever length of time struck out players had to sit on the bench for.

He didn't know.

But he did start to realize that he was going to have to start to use this rule of three strikes for himself.

…

Strike 0

Blaine's first strike, Kurt's mind argues with him endlessly, doesn't really count. It was Blaine being Dalton Blaine and sure his "words of wisdom" had made Kurt's throat tighten and his tongue taste bile and had done nothing, absolutely nothing to chase away the embarrassment and disappointment that had come from his audition… but Kurt could imagine to himself that Blaine had been trying to be encouraging, had been trying to be kind when he'd said them.

And NOT that he's trying to directly change Kurt into somebody he's not because… honestly, if that was the case, Dalton's zero tolerance policy could get shoved up someone else's ass, thank you very much.

The point was, Kurt had come here to be able to be safe while being himself.

If that wasn't going to be the case, than what the hell was he doing here?

He remembers Blaine's words and the little sting that followed them. He hadn't expected that. Had expected Blaine to smile at him sympathetically and not be patronizing. But like his mind kept babbling at him…

It wasn't a strike.

Cause Blaine was just looking out for him after all. And maybe it was him who needed to change just a little, adapt a little more to Dalton ways…

...

Strike 1

Blaine's second strike, which is technically his first since the previous one wasn't a strike at all, (and that's not confusing. Kurt frowns and wishes he could just make his mind shut up!) comes on Valentine's Day. And Kurt's mind does try and take some of the responsibility for the heartbreak because Kurt's heart does break a little that day. Maybe he had read a little too much into the attention Blaine has been giving him and only him, the memorized coffee orders, the random chats and meetings…

But then again, how many other boys would be that attentive to all _his_ eccentricities and not like _like _him? And since when does Blaine have enough time to go to the GAP and meet this guy and go have coffee with him? Why would he even need to shop at the GAP for clothes? Kurt's pretty sure that he can count on one hand the non-Dalton uniforms he's seen Blaine wearing and he's pretty sure he's right in saying most of them were not from the local GAP and more from… wherever it is Blaine shops at.

It's not the point.

The point is, when did this happen and why is the first time Kurt hears about this guy, this sudden crush, at a Warbler's meeting when he'd had his head in the clouds thinking with 100% conviction, that Blaine was going to serenade him?

He probably will take this to his grave but he didn't call Mercedes right away after that. Instead he'd made his way to his room feeling detached, aware that his heart was throbbing and that it would_ hurt_ like a bitch once he let himself feel it… but he couldn't… not just yet. Not when there were others around that could see him and put two and two together. And wouldn't that have been the cherry on top of the fucking cake. Broken heart and utter humiliation if others caught wind that the pathetic little new boy had actually convinced himself that Blaine Warbler would like him…

No, he'd managed to get to his room and try not to cry as the detachment wore off and the endless rounds of questions and re-examining every memory that he had with the other boy. It was only after he was able to talk about it without breaking down that he called Mercedes. And if a tear slipped out here and there, well she wasn't there to see it…

She only got to hear the pissy diva bitch tone of voice that masked the hurt.

He knows she sees (… hears) through it. Loves her for it. Loves her even more for inviting him over to have a girl's slumber party without even blinking or having a second thought about the fact that he's a guy. She's a rare gem and its moments like these that he wishes he'd never deceived her and that he'd never broken her heart. Ever.

He goes to the GAP Warbler impromptu concert _thing_. Because he's a friend and friends support each other, even if Blaine is an oblivious idiot and this is not doing ANYTHING to repair his heart. And no, he has to admit that he's not there because he's curious to stake out the competition. There is no competition. He's a friend and GAP guy is the crush and he can't help but take in all the details and realize, wow… the man couldn't have been more different than himself and oh that hurts just a bit more and he really, really doesn't want to be here. But he still stays and if his hatred for Valentine's Day comes back with a vengeance well screw it.

Who can blame him?

It's a train wreck from there. I mean, no one ends up happy really.

Blaine's crush isn't happy about being appointed this title. Blaine's embarrassed, mortified, humiliated… and probably never going to be stop hearing Wes' lecture (_tirade, rant…is more like it…_) until he dies because Wes is probably never going to stop repeating it under his breath whenever he thinks no one else BUT Blaine can overhear him.

And Kurt tries to be a good friend. He honestly does. He tries to be sympathetic and tries to cheer Blaine up. But he does agree with Blaine when Blaine admits to not knowing what he's doing and that he sucks at romance. Because… honestly, it's the truth. And he can't help but be honest with Blaine and share some of his feelings that he's kept under wraps ever since it came out that Blaine wasn't going to sing to him but to someone who didn't even deserve the attention…

He knows it was the right thing to do. They've always been honest with each other – or at least, Kurt's always been honest with Blaine. He's starting to wonder how much Blaine keeps from him due to this stupid _mentor_ role he's appointed himself into. Yet… again, it hurts just that much more when he sees how Blaine reacts. Like it hasn't even occurred to him as a possibility.

He takes consolation in the fact that they agree to be like Harry and Sally from _When Harry Met Sally_. Especially since he gets to be Meg Ryan… and the movie does have a happy ending that he can still hopefully latch on.

And yes, he ignores the fact that Blaine hasn't seen it.

...

Strike 2

The second strike comes in a way that Kurt's left blinking and feeling awkward and angry and hurt and just… he doesn't even know if the past few days can count as just one strike because it feels like many actually. But maybe he likes Blaine a bit too much and though logically he knows that there's been way more than three wrapped up into one, he doesn't dwell on it.

Its just strike two and he doesn't have to try and write off the feelings that he has for this really infuriating guy.

It started at Rachel Berry's party. And really, if he'd known, he'd never have twisted Finn's arm to go and invite Blaine to come with him to top it off. But he'd just missed everyone and he – stupid really, because besides Mercedes, who in Glee actually misses him? They've all happily replaced him and moved on and he's the only one feeling out of sorts. No longer home at McKinley, not home at Dalton, not home anywhere really – he really wanted everyone to meet Blaine, see what he's like when not in Dalton uniform. He also wanted to see Blaine outside of Dalton. Because Blaine outside of Dalton is more like the Blaine he knew when they'd first met and not this weird friendship-mentoring thing they've got going on.

The party had gone from lame to drunkishly absurd but in a funny way.

At first.

When spin the bottle got a little too heated and made what should have been a funny, oh my Gaga, I'm never going to let you live this down moment into a… I'm feeling jealous and not happy and why is this still going on… the fun was all sapped out. But it's easy to blame it on the alcohol. Which is exactly what Kurt does. It's so easy to do when he's the one who has to lug a drunken Blaine home and put him into bed because the guy's basically passed out and there's no way Blaine would have been able to drive home.

Not and actually get anywhere in one piece.

But there's no more alcohol to blame when they talk about it the next day and he stops laughing when Blaine accepts a date with Rachel _in front of him_ and then basically calls him Karofsky to _his_ face because he's not… supportive of this endeavor. He even leaves him there, sitting at the table, alone and Kurt doesn't even know what to do or think or say… not that there's anything to say he supposes. He's alone. Like he's always been.

Except… he'd thought that Blaine… that they'd understood each other.

A little scoff pushes past his lips.

Or maybe it's a little choked…_something_. He doesn't drink his coffee order and he goes to classes but doesn't hear a thing. He's just hoping it's a nightmare and that maybe, even though he definitely remembers NOT drinking anything at Rachel's party, that he's hung over as well.

Because he can't really comprehend how Blaine could be questioning his sexuality and angry at Kurt about being angry and hurt about that because Christ… Blaine _knows_ that Kurt likes him. And he's already been the supportive friend with GAP guy. Does he really need to be supportive of Blaine and Rachel too?

And he really _really_ can't go anywhere _near_ Blaine's accusation that he's just as bad as Karofsky because that just… it was such a low blow.

He knows he's taking his anger and hurt and the ever growing feeling of emptiness out on his dad who really doesn't deserve any of it but what's sad is that at this point (and maybe always and forever), his dad is all Kurt has.

He can't turn to Blaine for obvious reasons. He can't pull Mercedes into this…it just doesn't feel right. It'd be asking her to take sides and that's just petty. And a small part of him wants to talk to Rachel about it. They might not have been good friends but he'd at least thought that they'd been working on being friendly with one another.

Didn't friends _not_ steal another one's guys?

But then again with New Direction's track record, why had he even thought that sort of golden rule would be upheld?

It turns out – not that he'd been too worried – that Blaine is actually very gay and Rachel's psychotic and Kurt is sure that he will just never ever understand her. Not that he wants to.

And things should have gone back to normal, back to pre-Rachel Berry party and alcohol induced confusion over sexuality… they actually seem to do just that. Blaine and Kurt continue to meet for coffee, they chat between classes when they get the chance and even before or during Warbler meetings. They haven't talked about what had happened, ignoring the incident seems to be better for everyone involved.

But that just lets the illusion of normalcy reign when in actuality things have changed.

For one, Kurt still feels hurt and he's starting to see Blaine in a very different light than before. Maybe it's a good thing. The rose colored glasses are definitely off this time. They're gone.

Blaine isn't perfect, he's not a poster boy… He's human and he's imperfect. He worries and is self-conscious of how others see him. He worries about being gay… probably somewhere deep inside of him, he wishes that he wasn't because that would make life that much easier. And safer. He's also a bit of a pompous ass and a complete ham to boot.

Not that Kurt can talk. He's a diva but at least he owns up to his diva-ness while Blaine…

Kurt shakes his head and gives a little crooked smile in apology because he hasn't been listening to the conversation for the past fifteen minutes and its probably obvious now. Blaine gives him a confused, slightly concerned look. Kurt would like to explain but he can't.

He's no longer stuck on every little thing Blaine says or does.

He can't be.

Because it hurts.

Because reality's starting to sink in and the feelings are still there but the fun part of the crush – where the other person is your entire world and they can do no wrong because you just worship them and the butterflies in the stomach at the sight of their smile, their face, the sound of their voice… everything about them… they're gone. It's sort of sad, like the end of innocence in a way.

Kurt's half hoping he'll snap out of it and that they'll come back because he _really_ does like Blaine – even imperfect. And he likes feeling giddy and happy and the general physical sensations that comes with crushing…

But the other half of him tells him it's a good thing. The blinders are off and maybe this will cause a shift in the relationship.

Maybe…

...

Strike 3

The last straw comes during a conversation Kurt wishes he could erase from his mind completely. It started with Blaine telling him he looked like he was having gas pains when in fact he'd been trying to do sexy and ended with Blaine trying to teach him how to be sexy. That was his way, Kurt guessed, of "figuring something out" so that they could win Regionals. Because clearly, Kurt's total lack of sex appeal could lead to them losing and Blaine can't have that.

Kurt's still standing in his room, deceptively calm on the outside. But he hasn't moved from where he was when he asked Blaine to leave, _please_. Its not that he thinks something will change or break if he moves.

It's just that… maybe it's already broken.

Blaine is oblivious. And his words hurt even when it's not their intent to hurt. It's like he conveniently has forgotten – and Kurt _really_ should have paid closer attention to this before, it might have saved his heart – that Kurt _likes_ him, that Kurt has made it point blank clear that he would give a leg or an arm to be Blaine's boyfriend. He has to have forgotten it or is making a point to ignore this fact.

But it really doesn't matter. Because Kurt isn't sexy, he just makes weird faces. He's not attractive. He just makes a good friend, a good fashion adviser. A person to take care of and mentor and to have around so that Blaine can look perfect and dapper.

He's nothing more than that.

Will never be anything more than that and Kurt realized it finally. Not because of the words Blaine spoke – though they really hurt and has left Kurt's pride and heart in tatters somewhere on the level of his feet. It's the tone that drove it home. It'd been so… patronizing.

Cause he'd really needed the sex talk by Blaine.

Kurt closes his eyes and takes another slow breath.

Strike three…He thinks, wrapping his arms slowly around himself in an unconscious attempt to not feel so alone.

He needs to get over Blaine. Its strange, the thought hurts and there's a resigned tone to it. He brushes a hand over his eyes, pressing them there for a moment or two. It hurts more than it did with Finn and Sam. He wonders why? Then tries not to think too hard on the why.

Its not like knowing will change anything or make it any easier.

…

The problem comes, Kurt realizes belatedly as he goes through the motions of the day, is that the 3 strikes rule doesn't come with a handy guide on how to make his heart walk out and cool off. Nor how to have his heart forget to give that funny little lurch when Blaine comes close and gives him a smile or leans obnoxiously close when singing another song that the council has somehow managed to find and offer Blaine on a silver platter.

Intellectually he knows its best for him to move on, to cut his losses… emotionally, he's just floundering. He's not really sure who to talk to about this dilemma. He knows that if he went to his dad, he'd get a little lost look of concerned and words that would be…right but not necessarily help him when he'd come face to face with Blaine. Plus, he'd sort of like to keep Blaine as a friend without his dad giving the guy a hard time due to his protective nature.

He thinks about talking to Mercedes about it but something else stops him. He doesn't know what exactly. He can't put it into words. He just… it doesn't feel right and so when they meet up and talk that weekend, he acts for all the world that nothing has changed.

Rachel's a no. Kurt knows he wouldn't be able to take whatever she threw at him, knowing that no matter how sweet and sympathetic she would intend to be… she'd open her mouth and say something blatantly insensitive. And it would just be awkward even if she didn't. How could he go and ask her, so… how do you get over crushes?...when she'd know who exactly he was trying to get over and that she was in part a reason why he wanted to get over Blaine. He also knew that Rachel was not as over Finn as she claimed to be.

He also knew that her advice would be to write a song (she'd gotten scarily obsessive about this) or if he wasn't as talented as her – not to worry cause so few people in the world could be as talented as her – he could just find a song and sing about it.

Kurt shook his head freeing his mind from Rachel Berry's annoying mental voice he had going on.

If only he could sing about it. He'd played with the idea a few times… knowing from past experience that it would help in at least getting his emotions out there. The only problem is that he's not at McKinley anymore. And though Blaine's apparently got a free pass to burst into song anywhere and everywhere whenever he pleases, not everyone else at Dalton is so lucky.

He also doesn't have a sweet clue as to what song he could sing. None in his current repertoire feels right somehow.

Until…

Kurt was actually just walking in one of the hallways when the sound of a solo piano playing softly caught his ear. It was coming from one of the room's he didn't know but Kurt couldn't help popping his head in and asking for the name of the song, ignoring the startled boy's expression and the way his hand had risen to grab at his chest.

With the necessary information gathered, he went to his own room and looked up the lyrics, youtubing the actual video and listening to it a few times.

The piano – deceptively simple – the vocals – highlighting a pained vulnerability – and the lyrics…

It mirrored the ache in his heart perfectly.

…

A couple days later, Kurt settled in front of the piano in one of the many Dalton practice rooms. He was alone and this suited him perfectly. There were certain performances that simply weren't meant for an audience. This was one of them…

He closed his eyes and took a breath in, trying to still the sudden nerves that filled him before opening his eyes once more. His fingers trembled just a bit as he carefully spread out the sheet music he'd printed out for this occasion. He fiddled with the paper for another moment or two, eyes scanning the black figures that spotted the lines and danced in his vision. In his mind, the music was already playing, the words already at the tip of his tongue…

And so he let his hands drop until his fingers settled gingerly on the ivory keys, feeling the coolness that warmed at his touch. He started without any visible cue that would have been obvious to any observer; fingers simply knowing in memory the flow of the ivory keys and began pressing down so that the melody played in the air.

_ "Too many times, I have wondered…_

_What all trying is for._

_ You come around, I feel so down, I'm gonna drown…_

_ Because I know that you've fallen short."_

Kurt let himself get lost in the lyrics, in the melody, feeling the tempo touch him to the very core and revealing his very dilemma.

"_But do you know, it doesn't change…_

_ The way I feel about you at the end of the day. _

_ Because I know that all I want is what you got…_

_ All I want is what you got."_

There was a pained smile that tugged at his lips, his head giving a minute shake, causing hair to fall in front of his eyes. Kurt knew, knew that despite Blaine not feeling the same, despite his oblivious ways that had caused this ache in the first place…

He couldn't stop the feelings he had.

And he didn't know what would.

Unless it was simply time…

"_And too many times, I have wanted…_

_ To turn around and walk away. _

_ Knowing deep inside, _

_ You can't provide what I need from you anyway."_

This song captured that. The almost desperate loneliness of being caught between wanting and knowing… and not being able to escape anyway. His eyes fluttered to a close again, stopping the stinging short from producing tears that would fall and trace the contours of his cheek. Kurt continued to play on…

"_But do you know, it doesn't change…_

_ The way I feel about you at the end of the day._

_ Because I know that all I want is what you got…_

_ All I want is what you got."_

At first it was only one passerby that halted, hesitating at the edge of the door. It was a random student, not a Warbler, not someone that Kurt could have honestly said he knew the face or name of. The student had just been on his way from one class to the library and he'd just heard Kurt and it had caused his purposeful steps to falter. He'd looked around trying to find the source and once he had, he'd come closer – careful – not wanting to stop whatever moment he was intruding on. He didn't even bother to consider that maybe it was a moment he shouldn't have been watching in on… he'd just been caught by the rawness of performance before him. The hitch in the way some of the words were sung out and the way some of the keys were pressed harder, emphasizing _something_. An emotion that made his throat tighten instinctively.

_ "I tell you that I wanna go, but I wanna stay,_

_ I tell you that I wanna go, but I wanna stay, _

_ I tell you that I wanna go, but I wanna stay…" _

He wasn't alone long. Another caught in a similar manner or maybe just a bit different because he was there and that made people immediately question and wonder as to what was going on…

And so a small group gathered, pressing next to the door and listening. Some recognized the countertenor. They knew him as the new kid who'd transferred at an odd time in the year and was a Warbler. Some knew more… some knew less.

_ "I wanna stay, I wanna stay, I wanna stay,_

_ But I know I'm gonna lose myself this way…_

_I wanna stay, I wanna stay, I wanna stay,"_

Kurt remained oblivious to the small gathering, heart in the moment – in the words he was singing and the notes he was playing on the piano. His mind was reliving past memories, Blaine's face etched in various expressions each evoking something else in him. Whether it was fondness or a touch of exasperation mingled with amusement. Yet underneath all of that was the hurt and the sadness and the love…

The wanting to leave, of forgetting, of having never lived and experienced all that he had. If only he could go back in time, ignore Puck's words of going to spy on the "enemy"… then he would have never met Blaine. He never would have let his heart get exposed again only to be told no again, not wanted… He would have stayed at McKinley. Alone yet not knowing what it would have felt like to think for a moment that he wasn't alone…

The wanting to stay, to be here and to close his eyes to all of the past mistakes, to somehow continue and latch onto the desperate hope that maybe, _maybe_ Blaine would see him at some point. Some how. And that this above all else would magically heal the ache inside of him.

Even worse, the wanting to stay and knowing that nothing would change. Knowing that it wouldn't be enough but still wanting it to be enough because before Blaine… he'd never even known the feeling of being okay for who he was, that he wasn't somehow _wrong_ or _ untouchable_.

Yes. He wanted to leave. Badly. But he wanted to stay so much more.

"_But I know I'm gonna lose myself this way…"_

And it was killing something inside of him. Changing him slowly, undoing the walls and barriers that had made him seem so strong and unaffected with all the bullying and hurt from McKinley. Because at McKinley, it had been easy to tell himself… only a couple years left and it will be over. Things will be different. You'll be gone. You'll leave this horrible town and state and all the people with it.

But Blaine had been different. He hadn't been ignorant, hadn't been afraid to touch Kurt and let Kurt touch him, hang out with him, gossip with him… To still not be wanted, it made him fear that it wasn't something wrong with the town, with the people… but maybe it was with him.

Maybe something was wrong with him.

So what would leaving do? What would leaving bring him?

Nothing.

It was unraveling him…

"_But do you know, it doesn't change…_

_The way I feel about you at the end of the day. _

_Because I know that all I want is what you got…_

_All I want is what you got."_

The boys in the hallway remained frozen, grouped together where they were… Only the ones nearest the door could see through the little window. They could see the proud back bending slowly forward, head tilted in such a way that they could see a tear or two slide down. The hands never faltered as they slowed the tempo down… the voice continued, sometimes hesitating over the words as air was gasped in with an effort to keep a sob choked down. A couple boys took a step back, casting their eyes away but still not able to move away…

"_But this moment is all I've got…_

_It's all I've got."_

Kurt drew out the last words, staring at his hands that were suddenly still on the piano keys below.

It was done.

It was over.

He didn't feel better.

A smile that was more of a grimace pulled at his lips as the thought came unbidden, at least he'd tried.

He'd just have to go at it alone. Just like his father had told him. Go at it alone.

Nothing to it.

He carefully flexed his fingers before slowly pulling the cover closed and hiding the ivory keys. In the few moments that it took him to go through the motions, he'd carefully recrafted his expression to be calm, unruffled and confident. Not bothered or upset about anything in the slightest. He lifted his sleeved hand and carefully wiped his cheeks free of tears. He knew he'd have to check in a mirror some where to make sure he wasn't all red and blotchy but…

He'd have time for that later.

Now it was all about making sure every emotion he'd released got carefully wrapped away, hidden somewhere deep where no one else could see them and get at them.

A creak at the door made his head jerk in the direction and his eyes widened at the sight of multiple heads at the window. His mouth opened slightly.

Oh Gaga. He was screwed…

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I still don't own any of the Glee characters. And the Blaine in my head wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote his pov. So here it is. Hope you enjoy and again, feedback is always welcome and appreciated. Greatly! And this is actually the end... Originally, Kurt's POV was going to be a one shot but... Blaine just had to make himself be heard.

Blaine picks up on the changes in Kurt's attitude little by little. His smiles are smaller, his eyes don't seem to light up as much when he makes contact with them across the room, and he's just… different in ways Blaine is still trying to make sense of. There's some distance there too which leaves him floundering at times because it feels heavy and awkward and they've never had this sort of third companion when they've hung out before. On top of everything else, Kurt's not talking about whatever it is that's bothering him.

Blaine originally assumed it was due to lingering awkwardness from their sex talk but now he's starting to think it isn't it at all. He also momentarily held the belief that Kurt was just having a diva moment, jealous of the solos Blaine had with the Warblers but Kurt's biting honesty about that – the words _Blaine and the Pips_ are probably going to keep him squirming because it hit way too close to home – just doesn't sit well with him. If it just had been jealousy, he feels like they would have been able to talk about it. Obviously, Kurt has no qualms admitting it…

So what is it?

Its getting underneath his skin and starting to take more of his thoughts away from what he should be focusing on. School, regionals, life in general...

"Maybe he's just growing up." Wesley offers in a tone that means he's trying to gently break the news. David seems to be looking elsewhere but at Blaine. Blaine frowns at both of them.

"What?"

"I'm saying…" Wes says carefully. "… that maybe he just doesn't need you the way he did in the beginning."

Blaine shakes his head. Not because he doesn't think that's not true and when he's being honest to himself, he's not sure Kurt's ever needed him for anything because of the two of them, Kurt is the braver one and the one who actually knows who he is and stays true to that. He shakes his head because the words make him feel in a way he doesn't like and he's not sure why…

And its not just Kurt, it's the people around Kurt too who have changed. The students at Dalton, some Blaine is sure Kurt has had no reason to be in contact with, seem to know who he is. They stare at him in a way that Blaine isn't sure he understands. Like they've seen something and were touched or moved by him and Blaine's not sure what could have caused that… not that Kurt isn't moving but… its not like these guys have seen Kurt sing anything. Or act. Or spent anytime with Kurt getting to know him like Blaine has. He thinks anyway.

There are some exceptions. David and some other Warblers are also looking at Kurt as if they've seen him for the first time. They seem to be going out of their way more than before to talk to him or include him in different activities. Which is a good thing except that it gets in the way in the already limited time that Blaine has with Kurt. He shakes his head but in reality he's trying to shake the feeling that the guys know something about Kurt that he doesn't and that's why they're acting different.

Blaine would probably be worried about it more than he actually is if Kurt's friends from New Directions were treating him different, but they haven't. And that just confuses him even more as to what's going on.

It becomes crystal clear that things have changed in a way he can't continue to ignore when Kurt announces Pavarotti's death at the Warbler's meeting. Even a few weeks ago, Blaine would have been the first to know of this – just like that one time Kurt had thought Pavarotti was sick when in fact he'd just been molting.

Kurt would have texted or called him and they'd have figured something out together and he'd have had the chance to offer some comfort. Now he's watching with everyone else, eyes wide and heart aching in his chest as Kurt stands by himself, out of the pristine Dalton uniform because this was Kurt and Kurt expressed himself in so many ways.

And it's like a slap in the face and an awakening of some sort.

Because Blaine finally _sees_ Kurt. Really sees him.

And a very small part of him is wondering how in the world he'd not seen it before, felt it before… and why?

While another part of him is suddenly very afraid that he's too late and he's missed out on something that he can never ever recover…

The End


End file.
